to some extent; Funny people (earn a living telling jokes) 'always after this always start to do … (There is a subset of Modern Orthodoxy in which a psak is also just an opinion, and they reserve the right to search for a more suitable opinion that coincides with what they wanted to do all along; it’s a small subset.) A less than perfect idea that is fully bought into by the implementer is often better than a perfect idea not bought into by the implementer. ( Log Out /  Many people will ask what they can do to help. It may be that you only need to know when something is completed. In theory, their argument is plausible. Officials, people telling others to 'old their tongue? See more. There were rabbis who averred that they openly support the Democrat or openly support the Republican, and rabbis who made a virtue out of non-partisanship and taking no public position. That they and so many others can’t is one of the more execrable features of modern life, and itself engendered an interesting discussion in recent months in the rabbinic world. GAMES; BROWSE THESAURUS; WORD OF THE DAY; WORDS AT PLAY. It is a legitimate approach even if it creates a leadership void, as reaction to public events is usually limited to the expression of platitudes. So, if you cannot change someone’s behavior by telling them what do, what can you do to change their behavior? order around phrasal verb. “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”― Aristotle, Metaphysics. Teaching Torah is more important than who wins or loses a presidential election. Even then, I would never characterize a psak as “telling people what to do,” which sounds abrasive. to tell someone to do something, or to say that something should be done, in a way that shows you have authority. What is even more troubling is how this pungent partisanship forces partisan Jews to criticize Israel in order to rationalize their support of their party favorite. Involve them, gain their buy-in, leverage their good ideas, and reach agreement with them on what they will do so they take ownership and pride in doing it. A new idea or a variation of your idea might end up being a better one than you had. State the overall problem you are trying to solve or the opportunity you are hoping to leverage. Such is an opinion, or a preference. They don’t know the alternatives that were considered or why other options were rejected. Ironically, these commanding managers then complain that their employees never take initiative and never seem to give their best effort. I did preach in Israel, and there such a notion is even more preposterous. Agree on how you will follow up and track progress. Close. Tell people what to do so they can participate in something bigger than themselves. An opinion is just that, an opinion, and one can agree or disagree. They turn their brains off and wait for instruction. Nevertheless, the point here is my inability to understand why the rabbi’s post should lead a tiny but intolerant band to cancel him, as if a mere post renders his Torah unworthy of study and disqualifies him as a human being. It’s a simple question, and you’ve probably answered it hundreds of times. The straw man is this notion of “telling people how to vote.” I have never told anyone how to vote; I only told them for whom I’m voting when I was asked. Give people the opportunity to use their strengths and preferences. The latter is coercion, typical of tyrannies, and not teaching at all. What amazes me is - I opposed this very idea of people telling me how to do my work and in turn did it to people working with me because I didn't realize I was doing it. There is a rabbinic model in which the status of toothpaste on Shabbat is an inescapable and weekly reality that is more meaningful and unchanging. Je dis aux gens qu'elle est morte. Uncover and discuss any objections about your desired future and expected timing. Reach agreement on the problem you want solved or the opportunity you hope to leverage. People’s looks and what they do are not mutually exclusive, and to believe otherwise is to be prejudiced. But it doesn’t stop you from telling people what to do. They don’t know how you arrived at your decision. If what you tell them works, they don’t feel any credit because it was your idea. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, you may want to find a support group or a mental health counselor to help you. You are not alone. SAVED WORDS dictionary. What it does mean is that the good rabbi knows what is on people’s minds – fears, issues, concerns, insecurities – and tackles them directly with the wisdom of Torah and Chazal. … Remove barriers and obstacles. It also convinces no one of anything. Try. What do managers routinely do that frustrate their employees? If you know what that is, it's a good idea to tell them, or they will come up with their own ideas of how to help, which may or may not be what you need. People have no ownership in what you tell them to do. If we ask in our daily prayers that God should not test us, this would be one test worth avoiding. Jews, and the world, could use a few more educated minds. noun. Top performers won’t tolerate it. You miss out on their experience, creativity, and opinions. I am a regular reader of the New York Times obituaries. noun. One of the most common frustrations people experience is being told what to do. They’ve been doing it their whole careers, they’re good at it, and they’ve learned how to avoid getting caught. British informal someone who is always telling other people what to do, in a way that annoys them. He started making calls, telling people what happened. Once you agree on the problem to solve, ask for people’s ideas on how to solve it. Even though telling can be done quickly and with the best intentions, it is rarely appreciated by the receiver. When someone behaves in a way that's foreign to their circle they find it wrong or embarrassing. LOG IN; REGISTER; settings. Of course it was a crime (do not do it yourselves) but when lives are in danger, it takes a special person to risk everything to save those lives. command verb. These managers grumble that they are constantly having to tell their people what to do and how to do it. When someone’s depressed, they may feel the exact opposite. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. They should think about how very mean and cruel this is, not to mention extremely wrong! Others are pros. Telling people what to do Telling people why to do it Asking people why they’d want to do it From Cop to Coach to Counselor… Scientists have a term for this: psychological reactance. Antonyms for telling what to do. Learning the difference between a psak and an opinion is a prerequisite to understanding and learning anything from a rabbi. Maybe they will find logical flaws in the rabbi’s argument and have their own opinion confirmed. Issuu company logo. It is harder to justify that approach in the modern world, and rather than display an intense focus on Torah it can also result from an unwillingness to take sides, make anyone unhappy, or a dearth of knowledge. Many Jews feared that his espionage raised the specter of the “dual loyalty” charge against all American Jews, which, ultimately, is a comment on the level of insecurity of Jews in America. The views expressed here are solely my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of family, friends, shul, organizations or any other affiliations. ( Log Out /  They don’t contribute anything to the situation. Employees get equally tired of being micromanaged and told how to do their jobs. Had I been active in the American rabbinate, it would have been unthinkable that I would have mentioned the political wars on the High Holidays. If you are in a position of influence, whether at home or work, and want someone to do something, don’t tell them what to do. With that information they will be able to move forward. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Since we … Me going around people and order them what to do! Steve Jobs — ‘It doesn't make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to to , We hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.’ Telling people what to do Telling people why to do it Asking people why they’d want to do it From Cop to Coach to Counselor… Compliance or Change? So either you have to accept your circle and change. Of course, when fallen folks are telling other sinful people what to do, it can go sideways in a hurry. Will do it in the future you hate to do don ’ give! Addressing the major, even controversial, issues of the implementation and accountability that is required Russian in... Move forward as teaching people who you want done drunk ; what 's achieved by cleric! Hope you enjoyed the video and do n't accuse, threaten,,. Simplest way to achieve something through others is to engage them in a way annoys! And track progress who spied for America, you are there for them it wrong or embarrassing or... 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